I got attacked by a goose when I was a kid. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.4M subscribers 118K views 4 years ago Fully-functioning organs are not necessary. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Get too fat at the Golden Corral, go to the Dress Barn. Thats insensitive right there. Natures most shitty critical thinkers. Any ideas? Anyway, it gets to be 5:30 in the morning. Fuck, I dont know. And that was the first timeall three of us had our names on big signs in Vegas, and we went outside to look at it, and I was like, Fuck, now what? I just never have. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And undeniably funny. I go back up to the room and shes passed out, in this negligee, and shes fucking gorgeous. All right. I thought about being gay one time, and I changed my mind when it came my turn. You should have the person help you move all the shit out and then shoot him. What they do is they take these baby ducks, and they just snip the pussy lips off of em, and it takes, like, 35 baby ducks to make one taco, but it is fucking worth it, man. And I dont need a new mugshot cause my last one was so good. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up RT25: Celebrating 25 years of Rotten Tomatoes. I only have the room key. We have an all-access pass to Las Vegas, which is way better than the no-access pass we had right before that. Or any. #ProgrumPassword - Lil' B/Meatsauce vs. Gaard/Rosen | password | Lil' B JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. I just think Chris Hemsworths the best-looking motherfucker. No. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018) After his miner grandfather's death, Pancho travels with his wife and kids to his hometown, where chaos ensues with his relatives over the inheritance. My beer is cold. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. 'Citadel' Episode Guide: When Do New Episodes Premiere on Prime Video? You ever notice nobody ever dies when you wish they would? Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. Quit trimming it for a year. Maybe a salad and a sandwich. Your email address will not be published. Yeah! What kind of balls does it take to put the word corral on the name of your fucking restaurant? Boy, do they know that demographic! And so, White closes by turning back time to talk about a weekend in December 1996, when White opened for Foxworthy in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand, while Engvall opened for Reba McEntire down the strip at Caesars Palace. That Yale snob fucking piece of shit, fucked me out of so goddamn much money. Privacy Policy I got to go this year for the first time in my career to do stand-up in Europe, and I did shows in Amsterdam, Edinburgh, Scotland, and London. 5,838, This story has been shared 5,093 times. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. All rights reserved. It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his familys escape room outing. 3,036, This story has been shared 2,003 times. [mooing] Welcome to our giant all-you-can-eat food trough. And three hours after I met this chick, Im laying on my back going, [tightly] This bitch is crazy. And I was right. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 3m | Stand-up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. They are. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. Now Im not saying Ive never driven drunk, because Ive drank so much in my life, now on the back of my drivers license, theres a list of organs I need. Well, Bills doing one show at the big Forum down at Caesars, and were doing three shows a night in a smaller room. I really do. And Danny wakes up and he goes, I had a dream. Im better at oral sex than Ive ever been and I think its just because Im older and Im just more patient than I was when I was young, because cause now Ill lay there for hours and let you do your thing. You gotta kill the duck to get the duck meat. Nobody in this fucking room would do it. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. Steals my sandwich. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. And I think thats why they marry so many of them. Ahh! Shut up, youre supposed to shut up. Youre still going to hop in that motherfucker. I would have missed the boat if I was in the porno business right there. From the big lip to the little lip, right over the clit, tuck in the meat curtains if you got em. You cant fix stupid. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. 'Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up' On Netflix: Review Legendary comedian and podcaster Marc Maron stars in his first-ever HBO comedy special filmed in front of a live audience at New York Citys Town Hall. Numan1235cansunar2234comtr. Viagra. I was doing a meet and greet the other day right after a show, this young guy goes, When my girlfriend comes back from vacation with her parents, Im going to ask her to marry me. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Cause usually if a woman is that beautiful at 40 and never been married, either they give horrible head or theyre completely insane. Or if theres some paint chips and a tray of Smile Bright. And before the thing started, I had my tour bus up there, Jeff and I are sitting on my tour bus and this Golden Corral commercial comes on television, which is where Jeff works now. A tongue is a tongue, and a tooth is a fucking tooth. He was like, No, what Im saying is, if you could talk to someone, whether they Yeah, I fucking get it. Thats it. But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Montreals a gorgeous city, and the festivals are done in 20 venues all over the town, beautiful thing. Lets do a couple of blocks. A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. [laughing] Seems like Id have something else to say after that. Dont wake White up just yet. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama \"If you quit listening, i'll shut up\", y que se estren en Netflix el 16 de Octubre de 2018.Muchos chistes machistas y muchas groseras, pero un comediante que es un Sandy y que sale a escena con un vaso de whisky y un puro. This goose comes out of this pond like a fucking killing machine. Well, youre gifted. And I told this young guy, I said, Yeah, if I were you, Id go to a gay bar, let somebody fuck me in the ass and make goddamn sure Im not gay, cause it looks like theyre having more fun than anybody to me., It does too, cause we live right next to West Hollywood. [audience whooping] Looked like somebody had stretched a Looked like somebody had stretched a rubber band over a gigantic head of cauliflower. He also tweets@thecomicscomicand podcasts half-hour episodes with comedians revealing origin stories:The Comics Comic Presents Last Things First. I didnt lose my virginity until I was 18 years old, and I was in the Navy stationed in San Diego, and I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico, who was overweight,and her teeth had no general direction or color. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. When my dog gets out of the yard, gets in the street, hes like, Oh fuck! Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. You fucking idiot. I can put my car in drive and roll over your ass. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. [squawk] Bites me on the fucking leg. But I took her to Vegas. Get some Brylcreem and some dippity-do and a hair dryer. Where Was 'John Mulaney: Baby J' on Netflix Filmed? In fact, if shes too clean, I salt her. If you tilt that a little bit, you can get it through that door. I was 12. They all look like fucking tents. I dont know how strong they were. The motherfucker! Thank you very much. We decided to break it up, and Vegas will make you horny if you let it. I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. It doesnt matter what it fucking looks like. Ron, wake up. White I was always going to tell you if I ever met you that when my father was alive, you were his favorite comedian by far. I said, Thank you very much for telling me that, man. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. I keep a salt shaker by the side of the bed. Now, I dont know whats wrong with your vagina that makes you think it needs to be rejuvenated.